The Children of the Night

 

The children of the night

come to my window

with the twilight

illuminating devilish smiles.

And with their hands

they reach into me and

steal my heart

so that I can’t feel.

They turn off my mind

so that I can’t think.

With a tug, a yank,

a great heaving pull,

they are the possessors

of my soul

and we dance on the moon

with utter recklessness.

Some would call them thieves

for making me

threatening, unruly, and rebellious

but I am the savior of my generation.

Some may call them thieves

but I am disobediently grateful

because they know

that I am not a lonely rebel;

I am the child of freedom.

I dance to stop my tears,

I sing to scare my shame,

I live to prove my strength,

I run to rid the pain.

Yeeeeeeow!

A lightning bolt just

hit me in the head

while me and

the children of the night

were walking through the jungle,

swinging from the trees,

doing whatever we pleased,

when all of a sudden

SLAM!

And then there was silence.

I saw a light,

a gleaming light that shined so bright.

So I strolled up to it,

squinted and said,

“God, is that you?”

The light got brighter

and I got angry.

“Come on out and show your face,

if you’re God then show me!

Ya scared?”

Me and the children of the night chanted,

“Are ya scared?”

And the light was now

so very bright

that if it wasn’t our souls

speaking to God,

our eyes would’ve become blind.

And we laughed

and we jeered

and we brought to the light

the insecurities that

we, ourselves, held. 

I then climbed atop

the tallest rock so that all I could see

was the light

and all I could hear

was my departed soul.

The light of my soul dimmed

because I faced

an uninvited truth.

So I reached out to touch it

but I got burned.

I tried to hear it

but it was unsound.

A knowledge entered me

that I was not ready for the truth.

So, until that time came,

me and the children of the night

went dancing so free, so wild,

I saw that this life was for me.

No pain, no tears, no heartaches.

I hid all that I felt.

My heart was a hassle

and quickly became numb.

But then one night was real strange

while I was manically dancing

during the witching hour,

when all of a sudden,

I froze,

I swear I couldn’t move.

I looked around and

everything was still. 

And then the light,

coming from nowhere

beamed down upon me,

 and strangely enough,

even though I got rid of my heart and mind,

I could still feel the light inside of me.

And I screamed

and I cursed

and I cried,

and I tried to stop it,

but it remained.

I was furious.

I knew it was God.

“Leave me alone,

stay away from me,

don’t come near my life!”  I yelled.

Then there was darkness,

and this time it was a darkness

that chilled my soul.

Everything went back to normal.

It was nothing,

a glimpse of my old life, maybe,

but that was the past.

Another night when we were strolling,

scoping out the stars,

playing games,

I went off on my own

to a place I could be alone.

I went to a waterfall

leading to a river,

where the river led to a lake,

where the lake led to an ocean,

where the ocean led to the horizon,

where the horizon led to the day.

And then I realized

that I was completely alone.

I had come so far,

and yet, I was completely alone.

And though I could not speak,

my soul screamed for the light.

And though I could not think,

my mind dreamed of the light.

And though I could not feel,

my heart yearned for the light.

And from the visceral emptiness

the light came again,

even after my objections,

even after my detachment,

even after my scorn,

the light came again.

And then I realized that faith

is not being led blindly.

Faith is acknowledging light

though the darkness veils it.

I saw that to forgive

is not to surrender.

Forgiveness is acknowledging the sins

within our own psyche.

So I returned to my heart and mind

and I looked back at

the children of the night

and knew I didn’t belong.

There are still times

when I lay in bed at night

and hear them calling at my window.

The darkness chills my skin.

I cautiously rise,

close my window,

and I find myself sleeping

with the light on

more often.